do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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