doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
