Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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