so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
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the ceiling is raining jello shotss
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
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Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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