my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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