So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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