Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I cut my penus on the lid.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
