She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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