Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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