I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
