yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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