question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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