youre lurking in front of me
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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