FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
