Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
smell my finger.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize