sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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