North Korea, Best Korea!
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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