...so i touched it.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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