I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
kristin has been a bad kristin
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
