the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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