Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
