i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
