that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
