Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
