Please, let me fuck your mom
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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