There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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