Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
