Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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