sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Someone signed my nipple.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
