it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
