i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
