I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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