the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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