We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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