I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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