Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
