butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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