wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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