singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
