Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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