What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
