My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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