They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
