that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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