I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
where am i from again
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
