as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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