I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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