I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
