I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
