She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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