Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
