nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
