Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
