You're my little dorito
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
