Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize