No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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