recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
