I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
