So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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