I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
