I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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