why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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