STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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