His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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