its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
